What are you working ON?

"Concepts and open relationships" That's the thing.

Spring is here. And so are people. Spaeti-s are full, bicycles are out and so is the flesh. Hipsters still wear their black beanies but decorate their bicycles with an occasional flower. Spring is here. Too many events to handle, people smiling on the streets, okcupid lost its winter customers.

I'm excited, and so are they. In just few weeks, I met too many people to remember (yeah, sure, alcohol helps). But my phone book does. And one day when winter comes again, I can go through it and think is it ok to call people for a beerchen after 6 months, then, when I need people again. For now, it seems just too difficult to take a phone and arrange a meeting when you can just go out and - Meet People.

So the other day, my New Friend That I Met When Spring Started and me went out chatting with one big group in front of the bar to another in front of a different bar. We see each other often cause we don't need to arrange appointments. We both hang in my bar. I know if I go there, I'll see her. And then we do stuff. Like meeting people, which we both have passion about. It was a great deal, you take a shot and you can win a free tattoo from a tattoo artist from Mexico, who the welcome party was for. I didn't win the tattoo but I could also drink beers from Spaeti and Mexicanas were nice. Oh joy, oh happiness. I also met a girl that got a tattoo from the same guy and it was misspelled.

I met a guy there. Not a Guy guy, but Just a guy. After an introductory conversation about which tobacco is better (smokers have much better social life on account of these exchanges), he asked where am I from. The usual first question. Croatia. I've heard Croatia is beautiful. It is. But a bit boring? It is. And where are you from? I'm German Greek. OK. (I wasn't really sure would my stereotypes humour go well with a German Greek (the German side, the German side). And then What are you working on? Sorry? What are you working ON? Errrrr...errrrr...Nothing? 

I started laughing (as I usually do), maybe a moment too long, maybe a level too loud (as I usually do) and realised the guy is looking at me, with an expression too WTF (as men usually do). So I explained I actually never got this question and wasn't prepared for it. As a person that doesn't really know what she is doing, where she is going and can't give any answers to the Why questions, the only possible solution was Nothing. The guy explained he really hates What are you doing? question. I agreed. There is nothing more boring than What are you doing? But I do understand it's just a tiny effort to get to know people, to put them in a little box which we are familiar with. I want to know Who you are so I ask What do you do. The guy explained further how you end up with much better topics and it doesn't have to mean you are working on something grand but it can be as simple as I am working on my diet for the summer. And you see, with you it worked well also, it obviously hit deep. (true that)

Could this question pass somewhere else? What are you working on? I work in an internet cafe. You come, only 2 dollars hour, just for you, my friend. No, no, no, but what are you reaaally working on? Ah, you mean what am I reeeally working on! Oh, you know, the usual, getting money to feed my family and one day having a big house and buy my wife a nice dress and pay for education of my children so one day they can be bankers and live in America.  America is good. Translation to Croatian just sounds plain silly. If I asked somebody Na cemu radis trenutno? (followed by that meaningful, interested face expression), they would send me to Picka Materina.

It is fairly true that a lot of people in Berlin are actively working on something. Just look at okcupid. Every guy is making music, doing graphic art or fighting for asylum seekers rights. They also grow bio gardens and doing researches (like my flatmate does, it's called Pinterest). Sports are good also. But not any kind of sport, do skating, or bouldering or windsurfing. Combine all of that mentioned above and you get Tempelhof. Some of them actually do, a lot of them I suspect don't, but vast majority does more than I have noticed in other places I travelled or lived in. Kudos for that. We don't allow time wasters here. While in Croatia you would be asked for your job (which shows your salary which shows how "important" you are on a universe scale), here the question itself is about the very meaning (tell me about life and what's in it for you?) and the currency is not money or reputation but - Time. Are you spending your time in a meaningful way? What are you working on? (or well, maybe I am completely wrong)

My flatmate swears there are Average Joes out there and it's a matter of our neighbourhood, not Berlin. Another friend that lives elsewhere (after I excitedly said how many people were on the streets the other day due to spring) said excitedly Oh, in my neighbourhood as well! They were protesting! Protesting against what? Against asylum seekers. You mean FOR asylum seekers? No, AGAINST asylum seekers. Neukolln, I do love you.

And all this does affect you. The same as Boobs and Butts on every billboard in Croatia. You kind of want to show yours after a while. But only after you bought creams and gels and tried a few different diets. And after all bought dozens of dresses and big cleavage shirts and high heals that magazines tell you to buy. And make up. Doing it before is against human right to look only at socially accepted beautiful stuff. You shouldn't do that.

Here you always meet People doing stuff or overhear conversations of Doing stuff and Having projects. Like today in the coffee shop. Two artists discussing about another artist's art:

social growing culture, the translation of idea negates itself, I don't want to be conceptual, global citizen - it's the concept, we need crisis to bring our art together, discursive rituals, delusion, she is too neoliberal, a bit shredded, she is not a global citizen, she is just afraid, people cant see they own inconsistency. yes, they should be ripped to pieces, we all should in order to create, i just have a few paintings. that's good, anything more than that is massive production. which is bad, the only thing that is bad is murder. nothing else is bad, fight our world's imaginative narratives, you're such a kill joy for me, it's counterproductive, its kind of like being a nazi, there is a fundamental error in calling it a global workshop. its just going to be a neoliberal thing. 

Till the guy stormed off yelling: Can we drop this whole thing, I'm leaving to make some art!!
They don't know what global even means!!

I was really into the discussion although being a little village redneck (Why would I drink tea, I'm not sick), I understood their points only half way. But it was fun. Like watching a movie kind of fun. And then (back to reality) another conversation took over in Croatian by a couple sitting next to me:

You have a pregnant wife and you want another?? And she loves you and is having your baby???  
I started laughing my ass off. The guy got embarrassed and the woman laughed with me and started pushing that conversation even more. They were leaving after a minute, I guess trying to get away from this random audience. (I learnt my lesson with speaking Croatian thinking no one understands when after a few hours of drunk talk with my girlfriends about guys and sex, very much in detail, a guy sitting next to us at the bar asked I, odakle ste cure? So, where are you from girls?) While they were leaving, the woman started talking to me, another typical I would say (after I travelled extensively around Balkans) - Where are you from, do you have a husband? I answered yes (usually the best answer to that question, after you hitchhiked extensively around Balkans). The woman asked if it is nice, I said yes. She said she is happy for me. Then she whispered Men are pigs. I whispered back I agree (another thing you notice after travelling extensively...just a joke). She turned to the guy and said to him You like pretty eyes, she has very pretty eyes, do you want her? The guy said No, I want only you. They left. I'd guess somewhere where the wife Isn't.

You see, there seems to be so many options around here. Options to create, options to socialise, options to work, options to call yourself an artist and options for open relationships (with or without your partner's consent). One day I overheard two girls- You know, he wants to try monogamy. I think I'm not ready for it. It's just so...restrictive and old-fashioned. Well, in Berlin, I bet it is.

There is just so many options. So you start doing things (and doing people). Or at least thinking about what (who) can you do. For example my flatmate bought a mattress for exercise, special pants and sneakers. She never exercised but she did something. I'll make poi socks and I ordered a hula hoop. The other day I exercised, I ran (although I swore a long time ago I will never do it in my life), I hiked, cycled for 75km to eat freshly picked asparagus (although I would blame it on living with a German), painted a tiny bit and wrote dozens of times. That never happened before. Or it did but not for a long time (basically since I discovered Beer). So I can at least say that I am working on working on something. I try. That's what can be written on my tombstone - She tried. (That's what she was working on.)  

Going back to the guy. After he explained his theory, I managed to find some kind of true answer: I am working on living in a country where I don't understand the language. What do you mean? I just don't like understanding people on the street, coffee shops and worse of all public transport and queues. It makes me angry and sad. And like this I choose conversations I want to be a part of. It's a much nicer world. My bubble.

The guy said he likes me and asked for my number.




He never called though.
(Maybe in winter)

   
"It may look as if I'm seeking something; but I am seeking nothing" P. Baroja

Unless it's the asparagus season