The day I found the meaning of life. And paid for it.

...million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten

Life by google search:


*the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death

So basically what we do is GROW (eat), FUNCTION (some by the power of mere ignorance, some by the lack of it), CHANGE (pimples don't switch to wrinkles, they coexist) and LOOK FOR THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE WHO IS WILLING TO TAKE HIS/HER PANTS OFF. 

Have you ever thought about meaning of life, like is this really all to it? I sure have. Many, many, many nights going home, walking drunk on Istiklal, trying to avoid men grabbing my ass while still maintaining the focus on my feet to go one in front of the other, I thought "Is this really it?"
Or in those high moments when everything seems so clear, we are all one and all we need is love and one damn big sandwich. Accompanied with chocolate milk.
I thought about it many times and the closest I got is that there is something in the fact (which is not actually a fact) that the guy who wrote Don't worry be happy committed suicide (which he didn't). There was just something so meaningful in it (which there wasn't cause it is not true) that I figured out it must have to do something with the meaning of life (which..yeah...)

And out of the blue, on 27th of April, Sunday (OF COURSE) around 5pm, in Berlin, I found out the truth.
It was in Tempelhof park reading a book in the sunshine. There is nothing better than reading a book by yourself while people around you are playing music, frisbee, other strange devices that I haven't seen before, frying dead animals, drinking beer and just being jolly "Sonnenschein" German. And it is not a "forever alone" thing. I mean it. I enjoy it so much that I am incapable of reading a book when I am not around people being jolly...around me...reading a book. And of course, I was having my beer, ciggy and Terry Pratchett. And it was such a damn lovely day. 
I was just in the middle of this chapter on philosophers, 

“What's a philosopher?' said Brutha.
"Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting", said a voice in his head.
"An inventor of fallacies. This cursed city attracts them like a dung heap attracts the flies."
"Actually, it's the climate. Think about it, if you are inclined to leap out of your bath and run down the street every time you think you've got a bright idea, you don't want to do it somewhere cold. It's known here for its philosophers. It's better than the street theatre."

when I heard somebody talking to me in German. So I said like I do dozens of times a day, "Sorry, I don't understand". He started talking in English. He was speaking fluent English, but the sentences didn't make any sense whatsoever. I understood words meaning of life, essence, grass, fluid, earth, grass, nothing, sun and everything but in what context, god knows. Or doesn't. So I repeated "Sorry, I don't understand." And (Ooops♫) he did it again with a lot of waving, pointing at the sky, sniffing the grass and smiling. Pratchett is right, it was better than street theatre. I guess after a while he just gave up, sighed and said in a more comprehensive way: "I will explain to you the meaning of life (smile). For 50cents (smile). 1EUR if you are rich (smile)." So I gave him 1Eur, laid down with my beer and ciggy and listened. He talked for about 5 minutes. Guess what, I didn't understand (I think we had more of a transmitter than a receiver problem) so he was nice enough to write down the punchline. 

And since I am nice enough, I will share it with you:

"But"

"Outside, of the
attempts!!,
Between the hands
And feet!!,
Of my days!,
Without - essences!,
I lay down!!,
For a survival - lenght!!,

                          Outside"!!

And his phone number on the other side if I need clarification.
And he went away. As Pratchett continued: "“The trouble was that he was talking in philosophy but they were listening in gibberish.”

So ladies and gentlemen, I hope everything is clear now and you can continue with your now meaningful lives.  What are the odds anyway? 

“Just because you can explain it doesn't mean it's not still a miracle.”